Thoughs On A Log 2nd Archive ][ Page 1
05.02.01 Apocalyptic Madness
Sites That Would Survie Nuclear War.
1 Seanbaby: Who else is going to make fun of three headed liberals trying to find politcally correct speech for those who's faces have melted off, joined up and has formed some evil face collective that is eating the survivors?
2 Not My Desk: Not my shattered pile of rubble.
3 Martha Stewart: Sold her soul to Satan. Possibly IS Satan.
4 Spinnwebe.com: It's A Dysfunctional Scrabbling For Basic Sustenance.
5 Geocities: Haven't show all their popup ads yet.
B>I Shoot Cows
I hate the forums at somethingawful.com and x-entertainment.com. A more pointless, maligned crap of a mess there ever could not be. Or something. It's as if a team of dedicated scientists spent days working to create the most user-unfriendly forum out there. Then an intern got drunk and programmed in some mindless buggery.
To be fair Penismightier.com has great forums. PEN IS MIGHTIER...freaks.
I hate internettrash.com sometimes too. They choose when I can view the updated webpages. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I think there's a goateed wonder in some basement server room going, 'Servers are fucked', click, 'Servers are fine', click, 'Servers are fucked...'.
Nobody at AOL knows what a killfile is.
I just got instant message (AKA ICQ) and email spammed at once.
Why don't they ever spam for anything useful, like car discounts or pens?
05.03.01 Subway Sandwhiches
I used to work in Subway. It was officially known as Subway Sandwhiches And Salads. Or as I called, Crapville.
Actually, I never called it Crapville but it's funny, isn't it? Isn't it?
There's a lot to say about the store, from the colleague who looked like McVeigh to the battle over the stool but this is going to be about the sandwhiches.
At each shift you were allowed one foot long sub as compensation. You know, for lunch and to replace the fact you weren't paid enough to pee on and even that wasn't in the bank by Friday.
Bored employees would evuantually try out all the subs in a couple weeks. Or if you were dishonest, about one week. Our insane killer doppleganger colleague ate sandwhiches whenever he wanted. It worked, as the owner was never there and the other managers didn't care.
The chicken was the gourmet sub. It tasted like real food, everybody loved it, any toppings made it taste that much better. So of course it was one of the few subs banned from employee consumption later on.
Veggie Sub. Pointless. Utterly, utterly pointless.
Veggie patty sub. You ate this to subsitute for two meals, instead of one. It had enough volume to fill up the Exxon Valdez tanks.
Cold Cut Combo. Soon changed it's name to the Cold Cut Trio as ... I don't know. I guess the people at the Headquarters were feeling some need to justify their paycheck. The customers didn't notice. They wouldn't have noticed if we changed the name to 'Let's Kill All Non-Whites Combo'. They'd just bitch about the price as usual and ask for 'Let's Kill Ourselves Trio'.
Meatballs. Everyone hated to serve it and hated to eat it. The sauce got into more places then a drunken frat boy with his date at the movies.
Steak. Same deal, just clear grease. And no, we can't REMOVE THE FUCKING ONIONS FOR YOU GO TO HELL IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH SUBWAY!
Italian. It allegedly had three different kinds of meat on it. All I tasted was pepperoni seasoning and zip-lock sandwhich bags.
There are more subs but I forgot them. Blimpie rules anyway.
04.30.01 More Random Thoughts
1) I've played the 'World Is Not Enough' for the N64. Out of the few levels I could actually access, the most interesting and varied one is the London subway level. Quite naturally that is the one you have to run through at very high speeds.
2) Why do people complain about continuity in the Simpsons? Don't they get it?
3) Operators Standing By is a great site about an answering service operator. You know, the people you get when you call the doctor's office late at night and the doctor isn't available.
4) Gas Pains is somebody's adventures in retail/gas station clerking. It sucks horribly and should not be read by anybody.
Actually, I'm kidding. It's pretty good. Why would I link to it if it sucks? Unless you're reading the crazy pages section but you aren't, are you? ARE YOU? Daamn.
5) It's pretty hard to describe Salamando's Stove. That's the sign of a good website right there. Incomprehensibillity.
Wait a second.
Anyways, this page has reviews of video games and various rantings on various aspects of the gaming world. (God, I hate that phrase). It doesn't suck as most other webpages do.
6) I don't understand what happened to the aunts on the 'Sabrina The Teenaged Witch' cartoon. Why couldn't the animators bother to make them look like the original characters or even the actors from the TV show? It's just odd.
Crazy looking animated aunts here.
Human aunts.
It's all nuts. Mortis from alt.fan.tom-servo is probably going to rag on me about but oh well. Artistic integrity is imporant in whatever you create. Arbitraily changing race is just disturbing and odd. (Have you seen those Three Musketeers commercials with the black musketeers?)
7) Does anyone even use Yahoo! anymore? Google has them beat out all to shit.
04.27.01 Odd Places To Shop
I like where I live. It has many 24 hour eateries and stores. It has nice movie theatres, discount shopping and a lot of lakes and rivers. Of course the rivers smell like dead cows when they lose a foot but that's beside the point. This article is about interesting places to shop that *don't* smell like dead cows. Well, not all the time.
The first place is the Wagon Wheel Flea Market. Most people, when you think of a flea market, think of a couple rows of shaded shops and people with displays spilling out from behind their cars. Not this flea market. In the future, Wagon Wheel's property will be used to park the Enterprise.
Anything can be bought there. Old bikes, new blenders, fruit, G.I.Joe figures, skulls of ancient mummies, paring knives and books. Not comic books, though. Each and every time I went there the comic book dealer was gone. I think she hid in one of her on-site bins.
With the heat being such as it is, you have to be wary. Fans are set up all over the complex but even then, heat doesn't circulate as well as it needs to. One section is so hot, the tarmac was melting. Quite naturally this was where the largest book section. Along with an old lady. I'm suprised she could stand the heat. She probably kept in shape running back and forth putting out the books erupting into flames from the temprature.
The bathrooms don't have stall doors. They have curtains. Still, mucho nicer then most public bathrooms I've seen. And they have a scary looking man sitting by the door. Presumably he does something for tips, though all I've seen is him looking scary.
Resturant row is fantastic, if a bit pricey. Something funny is going on there. Only one stall is allowed to sell drinks. Very odd.
So, if you ever need to buy anything, from a puzzle to a fish in a vase (my mom bought it), come to Wagon Wheel Flea Market. Just don't stay too long in one spot. Your feet will stick.
Wonder Water Inc.
This is what comic books should be. Yes, a comic book store is called Wonder Water Inc. The front lobby has pure water, jugs of it and filter equipment. Very odd.
The rest of the place has racks of baseball cards, enough gaming tables to host every Quake player ever, the last three months of comics for cover price and enough back issues to choke every fan boy on the east coast. They used to have a cool rack of twenty five cent bins but they marked it down to ten cents and I bought every cool issue. Still.
Walgreens.
There's one on every corner. I think they are supposed to be a drug store. Only that inside, they just have one and a half aisles out of eight hundred and sixty seven dedicated to non prescription drugs. But they do have Star Wars figures on sale for two bucks. Walgreens is where the cool stuff hides.
Something Something Used Books.
This bookstore is the equivalent of smoking a butt for bibliophiles. You'll get what you need, but it'll cost you and won't be pleasent.
Half the store is romance or courtroom thrillers. Horror has been recently mixed in with suspense. Buffy books are non-existent, despite what the employees keep saying. And the prices are just a dollar less then retail.
Also, they don't understand that when you fill your open position, you take down the Help Wanted sign. (Never mind they didn't call to tell me whether I was rejected, like they promised). One of their saving graces is the discount room in the back. Old, battered books for sixty cents. Sometimes you strike gold. The air in back room is older then mummy coffin air and inflames my allergies something fierce.
3 and A Half Acres Of Crafts.
I rode with my mom here once. Five buildings, each dedicated to a different subset of crafts. Yarn And Sewing, Wood, Death Blood, Discountinued Items, Scary Stuff With Many Woods, Nails And Beads.
Okay, I admit I wasn't paying attention. I just went with to get out of the house.
The discounted aisle at Office Maxpot.
You can find darn near everything here. Schedulers, calendars from 1984, folders, spindlers, manglers, all for a confusing price listed inside the lining in microscopic braille.
That's that. My town may be full of billboards and crazy old ladies but at least you can find cool stuff for cheap! A little hard work, a little luck and a thermos bottle of Gatorade will get you a long way.
04.25.01 Random Thoughts
Google has decided not to honor my old Dejanews I.D. so I can't use their service to post.
Someone has a painted picture on their pickup of Dale Earnhardt driving off into heaven. Dude, the guy refused to wear a safety device that could have saved his life, you know.
1.516.256.3507 is the phone number to the Flash Design team people who spammed me. Please don't call them and ask if trenchcoats or raincoats are better...
The local Target has sticky controllers for their Playstation and N64 demo consoles. No, people are getting too excited about the games, it's just sticky fingered sprogs staring in ritalin-dulled delight at the flashy pictures. Where are the kid's parents? Some of these crotch fruit could be hidden inside a CD storage case!
I fear the local Wal-Mart. They actually have a large selection and low prices. Of course they have screamingly scary customers and merchandise that looms over you like a suicide jumper on Wall Street.
I can't wait until the 2004 elections.
The local K-Mart had two remaindered toys. These were car-creature things that were supposedly the latest incarnations of Transformers. Anywho, one was marked 5.00 and the other one was marked 50.00 dollars. Clear as crystal. 50.00 bucks. I should have bought it just for the hell of it.
Speaking of toys, I open mine. So there!
Stan Lee, the Father of Marvel (think Spiderman and X-Men) was on the Home Shopping Club the other day. He was standing to the side while a buncha freaks orgasmed over a 21 comic book set on sale for 21 bucks. (Five dollars shipping). It was supposed to get you started on your collection. Too bad most of the comics were unreadable crap (I've read 'em) and the comic book stores around here have dollar bins with much better stuff for sale.
Roofers are working on the three houses across the street. For about three hours a day. Come in, bang around, leave their drinks and skedaddle.
04.20.01
What Were They Thinking?
Things that make you wonder in popular culture:
1) Greedo firing first.
2) Threepio being built by Anakin.
3) Any movie where the guy gets shot in the shoulder but still has full use of his arm.
4) Air Bud sequels.
5) The bit with the van in 'Scream 2'.
6) 'Never Ending Story' sequels.
7) Pepsi Girl.
8) Dawson's Creek.
P.S. For those that don't know yet, I for-real quit my theatre job. I'm currently waiting for a temp agency to drop some metaphorical anvil of a job on my head.
Kid's Cereal
Is it me or putting a large, complicated Pokemon-themed maze on the back of a box of Honey Smacks just plain wrong?
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