Rating Company Home Pages.
Cheetos.com
The menu bar at the top is interupted by a big blue bar. That just may be the needles and wires web browser I'm using with AOL but still. It's ugly.
On the left side is the Frito Lay logo. Surrounding are a dozen-odd circles, each with a logo of the various foods Frito-Lay makes. 'Doritos', 'Tostitos', 'Funyuns', 'Cow Chips', 'Sun Crisps', 'Bleached Floor Sweepings' and such.
Poptarts.com
Ummm...no. Ten seconds of loading and random white circles means I leave now.
"I don't want to join the fun but I still want to register". Obviously something to do with the 'quest' mentioned in the title.
Who comes up with these pages? Color blind people who've been comas for the last decade?
Jelly Belly Beans
I like! It all fits on one page. No scroll bar! The menus are simple and easy to read. The logo is bright and fun. Any featured menu items are discreetly placed on the right.
There's a little java with the bean juggling stuff but it's small and unobtrusive, so it's okay.
It's all well-done. Too bad the beans leave an aftertaste day-old, peed-on grass clippings.
Major Networks
ABC
Wow. It doesn't suck. It's well laid out, the options are easy to read and there is a small amount of moving pictures. Of course they have an ad for that stupid show 'The Mole'. Which idiot is the 'traitor'? Who cares?God, can they sink any lower? Plus, the Java somehow mess up the task bar so you can't delete the URL and go on to something else.
CBS
Some boss must have been fired or something because this is even better then above. Not that I'll actually visit the page regularly or anything. 'Touched By An Angel'. Man, is that show ever going to go away? And 'TBAA' care cards? What? I don't want to know.
NBC
Whattya know. A pop-up window. It had to happen sooner or later. The text on the pop-up goes past the bottom of the screen, yet no scroll bar is provided, requiring the use of highlight and dragging the mouse down. Hardly worth the effort. NBC is going to be hosting webpages.
Now the main window, part of some new idiocy called 'NBCi.com' (naturally this isn't the actual URL) ...Three different task bars at the top. Including two links for signing up. Signing up? For what? It's a website! I don't want to have to sign up to get the show schedules! (They do have a Sandra Bullock movie coming up so that's a point for them).
The rest of the front page is ugly blue bars, pictures of unfamilar people and glaring blocky fonts describing who knows what. I didn't bother to read it because I have better things to do with my time, like imagining how much better I could make the page look. (and look what -my- page looks like! Crap!).
FOX
I so do not want to go here. I'm cutting and saving this text right now in anticipation of Java out the ass and multiple pop-up windows.
What the hell? NOT a good move, Fox. Some crazy animation filling the screen. It looks like a count down to a black and white movie, complete with hairs on the lens and scratches on the film. Then it actually hits '1' and we get a 'Happy New Year' message. Yeah, who cares.
They do have a small site menu that constantly stays on the bottom of the screen. That's good. It's unobtrusive but easy to find.
They advertise their own 'Relationship Island' (or whatever they called their hiring of prostitutes) as 'chilling'. Well of course. Throwing four couples and 26 singles on an island is such an insane, horrible, evil premise that anyone would feel a chill.
Here's an excerpt for what seems to be their 'X-Files' ad. "Get the Mytharc Tracker: Pathfinder to the Conspiracy at thexfiles.com! Track all the mythology with multimedia links and state-of-the-art navigation! Log on now to check it out!". Can anyone tell me what the hell this means?
CNN
You have to admire CNN, the network that has more intelligence contacts than the CIA.
It loads slow. But it does what it is supposed to, providing links to many news stories in many categories. But why does CNN, of all places, have much of their top screen real estate taken up by ads?
BBC.COM
That Website Is Not Accepting Requests.
Older reviews. Couldn't you just die of a horrible wasting disease?
Doritos
"Get Your Daily Dose Of Loud". Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. They have some squared off splotch...some moving crap pictures and stuff I did not want to read about. I figured out of any site that is not worth coming back to day after day (besides mine) Doritos would be it but no...someone is encouraging us to get our daily dose of bad design.
AOL AOL
Hahahaha, just kidding, I don't feel like being kicked off.
McDonalds
There's just one little tiny Java thing. A weird but legible site menu. The maginifying glass over the globe dispaying the one McDonalds is creepy. When the sun comes out that McDonalds and most of the surrounding country is going to be burnt right off the map. While destroying McDonalds is always good thing, there might be a comic book store nearby or something.
Burger King
It's fun to say 'Booger Fling'. Will the website be half as fun? Let's see...nope. Much loss for menu items which switch between the same two images. A little ad for Pokemon Gameboy toys. It LOOKS like a gameboy, but it's NOT! Whee! Also, they are STILL recalling the Pokeball toys of long ago, the ones kids killed themselves with. Probably after viewing this webpage.
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